Consistency is key

Consistency is my weakness, but I will not let it take me down.

Since I started this YouTube journey, I’ve learned so many new skills, tips, and insights about how the platform works. It’s strange, honestly—looking at it from the inside because, for so long, I was just a binge-watcher, ever since YouTube was created. But now? These past few months have flown by, and while I don’t feel like I’m moving as fast as I want, sometimes that’s just how it is. You don’t go through life without bumps. It’s never a straight shot.

Zig Ziglar famously said, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” And that’s exactly what I’m doing—starting and pushing forward. I’ve made up my mind: I will keep writing, and I will keep making these videos. I’ve been working on my other channels to level up my editing skills and keep creating, but for some reason, I’ve been holding back on my main channel. That ends now. I promised my unborn son, SAO, who never had a chance at life, that I’d do this for him—and I will. I’ve got too much to gain and nothing to lose.

Losing my grandpa hit me harder than I ever expected. It made me see life differently, like it was moving in fast-forward. I realized that after him, it’s going to be my parents' generation next—and after them, it’ll be mine. We don’t have as much time as we think. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” So I need to move faster. More efficiently. My father is nearing his twilight years, and I know he’s full of regret. You can feel it in people sometimes when they speak—that weight of unfulfilled potential.

It’s funny to look back on, but there was a time when he was the most important person in my life. After 18 years of not knowing him, I finally found him, connected with him. But after I came back from my trip to China, that perspective changed. That’s when I learned the truth. I finally understood why things didn’t work out between him and my mother. He had too many secrets, even from his own children. And my mother—she’s no saint either. She led me right to the mouth of the crocodile, my stepfather, and watched as he tried to devour me.

But miraculously, I was saved by my grandmother Jay. She saw a broken child in a foreign land, a child that didn’t know the language, and she taught him the values of what it means to be an American. She singlehandedly saved me, and until the day I die, I will always be grateful for what she did for me and what she gave me.

For all those times my mother believed him over me, cast me aside like I was nothing—my grandmother was there to shower me with unconditional love. Sadly, not everyone gets a happy ending, and it pains my soul to see her now suffering from Alzheimer’s, that slow death. I am in a battle now, preparing for the inevitable day when she will no longer be here as my shield, my guiding light. When that day comes, I will truly be alone on this planet. But I have carved myself over these past few years, becoming battle-hardened and realistic. I accept death for what it is, because everything you see on this planet will eventually die, one way or another. Everyone you know, as well as they know, has an hourglass that shall run out eventually.

Not to sound bleak, but that is the way of life. Immortality is a dream for the human race, but legacy is not. Through my grandmother’s inevitable passing, she will forever live on through me, in my dreams, and through my children. One day, I shall follow in her footsteps and leave this place—but not before leaving a legacy, planting roots of my own that will sprout into a beautiful tree. And those trees will also one day fade away to make room for a new generation.

So enjoy life here, right now, on this beautiful planet. When you leave, leave behind beautiful saplings—whether they are dreams, goals, or children—so they can grow into trees of their own. As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Let your legacy be one that touches hearts long after you’re gone.

In hindsight, as for my mother and father, I’m grateful for both of them. They taught me exactly what not to do when it comes to my own kids. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” And that’s what I’ve done. I’ve carried it, and I’m still standing.

So you see, I didn’t have the luxury of growing up with both parents, but that didn’t stop me from becoming the man I am today. I’ve grown into the beautiful tree I was meant to be. And I’m proud of that. But none of it matters if I don’t hit the goals I’ve set for myself, because this isn’t just about me anymore. This is about my legacy—my unborn son’s legacy—and these saplings I will plant, so that one day they will grow into a beautiful tree, a tree I wish I could have seen him become.

Whenever the light dims in my life, I always remember to look up at the stars because I know he lives there now. I’m still here, but maybe one day we’ll meet. Until then, I will work toward these dreams of mine as if they were his dreams. Because he never had a chance—and I still do. For that, I will not fail. It’s no longer just about me; it’s about the two of us. Daddy loves you, SAO, always and forever.

Live your life like there’s no tomorrow, because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Live it here and now, and make sure you plant your seed.

Yours truly,
Destin